Living in our home sometimes feels like being on an extended stay at a spiritual retreat house. It’s a little bit ridiculous, and wonderful, all at the same time.
There are always candles burning, acoustic instrumental guitars playing softly in the background (often times it’s Jonah playing his own guitar for us, which is my most favorite thing to listen to), people sipping tea and reading peacefully while sitting in front of the sun that pours in our back windows, and…maybe the most wonderful thing about being under our roof and surrounded by these people…endless, ongoing conversations about everything: religion vs. spirituality, who your “true self” is, whether luck is a thing, how you should never answer with the phrase “sure” when someone offers to you something, turning “have to’s” into “get to’s”, the circle of control, loneliness and human connection, detachment and it’s relationship with desire, Wim Hof breathing and how our bodies individually react to it, our ego and what it’s rooted in, etc.
Now, we have chaos and kids fighting and dinner time Festivus and ridiculous conversations about teenage “boy things” and female period accidents and sex and pooping your pants and gross things growing on our private parts, as well. I am fully aware of how far away we are from a picture perfect family that has it all together. Rather, we are about as dysfunctional and imperfect a family as I can imagine…but, most of the time it works for our family dynamic.
I think the thing that I’m loving the most right now is how “safe” we all feel with one another. If you asked the people who live here if they feel comfortable being their own true self, feel like they can have tough conversations with each other without feelings getting hurt or people holding grudges, or if this is the group of people they yearn to be around when the rest of the world feels like it’s falling apart…I think every one of these people would agree that we are all each other’s safe place. We form our own little comfort zone that, in turn, allows us the freedom and courage to explore the corners of our experiences that we would otherwise be too nervous to even contemplate.
Please don’t think I’m trying to wave some big Bergeron flag. I am just having this string of days when I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of joy, and love, and peace. I don’t think I have ever been more grateful to be able to share this life with these people who make me so excited to see and hear what the next year, or month, or day, or HOUR will bring.
This is just a declaration of a mother’s heart overflowing with love.