Team BergeronThe Good Life

A Genuine Apology

posted by Heather June 16, 2016 1 Comment
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These two are loving the back yard this season as much as I am.

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When that pull-up rig goes in, I just may never leave this space.

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Maya, our little teenage princess, slept in that ridiculous position for about an hour and a half…when she was supposed to be reading.

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HORRIFIED at what’s happening to my chins in this photo. I’m disgusting.

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Elias is, hands down, one of the all-time greatest employees of any car wash business on the planet. Go there and ask for him. Tell him Heather and Maya in the black Suburban sent you.

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Home Goods game ON POINT these days. The cashiers, literally, say to me now, “Back again??” Awesome.

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I had NO idea that Max liked ducks so much!!! I LOVE THIS, MAX!!!

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Made it to the library today to snag their last two copies of the kids’ summer reading book that I’m reading with them.

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HOW is that comfortable?

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My buddy, John, who I see in the parking lot over at Bode’s school every day. SUPER nice guy who we’ll be missing until we come back again in the Fall.

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Maya hittin’ it hard with Hamel and Harry today at CFNE. I told her she looks like a bruise in her black and blue man colors.

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Cary Collins’ son, Luke, just got his 9 baby chicks in the mail today! Cannot WAIT to bring the kids over to meet them.

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And, nap time. Maybe the cutest thing in the entire world.

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Bode with his best friends, Collin and Victor, on their very last day of playgroup for the school year. They’ll be back in September, though, when Baby Love starts, too!

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We toyed around with Love going pee on the potty this morning. I don’t actually think she’s “ready” yet, but we’re definitely going to test it out over the next few weeks to see.

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Jonah had his yearly physical today with our favorite pediatrician in the world, Dr. Michael McKenzie in Natick.

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When he first brought us in, he told Jonah he was going to weigh him so he needed to take off his sneakers. Jonah wasn’t even listening, so he started to get on the scale. I had to snap him out of Jonah World and tell him more aggressively that the doctor would like him to take his sneakers off. Jonah just shrugged and goes, “Ok.” Like we were acting weird. So, Jonah takes his sneakers off, picks them up, and goes to stand on the scale with his sneakers in his arms. Unbelievable. I had to, literally, spell it out for him: LEAVE YOUR SNEAKERS ON THE GROUND AND STAND ON THE SCALE.  Dr. McKenzie proceeded to ask him some questions.  Doc: So, how old is your brother, Bode, now?  Jonah: I have no idea.  Doc: What about Harley Love?  How old is she?  Jonah: Ha. I don’t know.  Doc: What’s your favorite vegetables to eat?  Jonah: I don’t eat vegetables.  Doc: What sports do you play? Jonah: I’m thinking about taking up lacrosse again.  WHICH IS TOTAL BOLOGNA.  I feel like I’m reading about Holden Caufield in Catcher In The Rye all over again.

So, Ben in I were in a rut for a couple of days.  Nothing crazy, just got sort of distant and out of tune with each other.

My problem is that when that happens, I usually start getting resentful…and, instead of trying to figure out how to carve out more time with him, I head in the opposite direction: I intentionally stop asking for his input on stuff at the gym, I try to avoid calling or texting him at all, I take longer putting Jonah to sleep and let myself just fall asleep with him for longer than I normally would, I find ways to use the kids as distractions, I start up projects to get lost in (like the gardening stuff I’ve been diving in lately).

Anyway, I was laying in bed in the middle of the night thinking it all through and realized that I was being unfair and not doing my part to communicate with him.

Long story short, I felt a huge rush of guilt that I couldn’t suppress so I waited until he woke up and went to the bathroom and the moment when he got back in bed I rolled over and said, “Ben, I’m sorry.”

He just put his arm around me and said, “Babe, it’s ok.”

It was one of the most sincere, genuine apologies I can remember offering: I wasn’t saying it with the expectation that he would apologize to me or just saying it to say it and not really knowing what I was apologizing for.  And, in return, I received one of the most patient, understanding acceptances I could ever have wished for.

It was all so simple, but I think there’s something really special and unique that happens between two people when they can both stop butting heads, lower down their shields, and just remember that they truly love each other.

And, I certainly do love that man.