It was about 45 minutes before Bode’s bus was going to be here for me to pick him up when I had to make a crucial game-time decision:
Do I or do I not have enough time to get the grocery shopping done and still make it to the bus stop on time?
I went for it, dammit. I just. Went. For. It.
I whipped through that grocery store like a rock star…not that rock stars ever “whip” through grocery stores at any impressive pace, but it sounded right there.
Anyway, my point was that I made it. All the stars aligned: my list was ready on my Alexa app, everything I needed was stocked, I strategically moved through the store so I didn’t have to ever go back to another area, and…here’s the real winner of the day…I found a lane that was completely with multiple employees there ready to check me out and pack my bags.
I had the exact 15 minutes left that I needed to get to my car, load it all in, drive home, and be there with at least 5 minutes to spare in case the bus was early.
Just as I realized all of that, the super nice young bagger says, “Would you like help to your car?”
“Oh, no, thank you so much but I think we’re all set.”
As I was saying it, I was thinking to myself about how it actually would be super helpful to have him push the cart out for me so I could start the car, open the trunk, and unlock the doors with my remote so I could quickly get Harley Love in her seat while he loaded the trunk with our groceries.
I didn’t “need” his help, but he didn’t ask me if I “needed” his help. He asked me if I “would like” the help.
When I thought for a hot second about it that way, I realized that, yes, I would actually LOVE some help just to take the edge off the whole process.
I think a lot of us hear those offerings and don’t even actually even consider whether we could use help or not. If we can do something ourselves, we should. Why bother someone else with something that we should be able to do on our own. It’s almost like we would consider it a moment of weakness if we accepted someone’s offer to help.
I also think it’s safe to say that most people would only offer to help if they actually did, in fact, want to help you. And, if they don’t really want to help, they need to learn the lesson that you shouldn’t say something you don’t mean.
I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes catch myself turning help down from Ben or the kids in an irrational fit of frustration for something else they’ve done and it’s my passive aggressive way of punishing them for that, and making it loud and clear that I’m really angry. Eventually, I realize that my behavior was far worse than anything they may have done already.
Doing things all by ourselves doesn’t make us a superhero.
Getting things done, regardless of who did the work, does.