I’m not even sure if I ever mentioned this other than some random pictures on this blog or if you happened to strike up a conversation with me at a school event, but Ben left a week ago for a business tour in Europe: 11 nights, 12 days…7 days down, 5 to go.
Not that I’m counting at all.
In all honesty, though, it’s not so much that it’s more work or more tiring…it’s just a lot more lonely. And, while I know a lot of people that really love that sort of independence and freedom, I am far too needy and attached to enjoy this level of time apart.
I am most guys’ nightmare in that way.
Having said all that, if this were a year or two ago, I’d be singing a whole different tune. Because while we technically have 4 kids, I always tell people it’s more like 2.5. Maya and Jonah are so much older that they are so busy with school and friends that I have to beg them to spend time with me. They’re also old enough to babysit, Maya can drive, and we split time with them with their dad, Alex.
So, I sort of feel like it’s unfair of me to claim that “we have 4 kids” when you’ve got another family with 4 kids…under the age of 6 or something. Now, that’s what people think of when you say you’ve “got 4 kids.”
Last year at this time, I was not as easy to leave at home with the kids for even just a long weekend. They were just much younger, which is parent translation for “way more high maintenance”…on, like, a hundred different levels.
When you think about it, too, we’re only missing out on Ben time for about 2 or 3 hours each night. And, when weekends are as busy as they have been for us this Fall, there’s so much going on to distract you that it’s Sunday night before you know it.
What I tell people whenever anyone asks me if I’m “surviving” Ben being away is this: I would so much rather be here than there.
I feel way worse for him than I do for myself because I know what it’s like traveling for work and being away from home, my family, and my routine. Some people love that, but I know I speak for the both of us when I saw that we are not those people.
Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling for vacation and even weekend long work trips that you add on a personal day here and there around “work”. But, Ben is literally over there working or traveling to another city every single day.
So, any time I start feeling sorry for myself that I’m cleaning up vomit in Whole Foods on my own or getting 1 hour of sleep at night because no one’s there to help me with kids that won’t sleep, I remember this:
-I get to sleep in my own glorious bed every night.
-I get to eat my Paleo Power Meals that I already have memorized in My Fitness Pal and trust is high quality food.
-I can get dressed out of my closet on dressers, not out of a suitcase.
-I am driving around in the comfort of my own car, not a different rental car ever 3-4 days.
-I get to see my friends and training buddies at my gym that is familiar and comfortable to me.
-I get to watch football in front of a fire in our living room on our own couches with my favorite blankets and pillows.
-And, above all else, I get to go to our kids’ games, read them goodnight books, eat meals with them, have dance parties when they should be doing their homework, and wave them goodbye on their way to school.
But, at the end of the day, nothing beats getting to do all of that with Ben.
Well, minus the dancing. He hates dancing, and hates loud music.
But, everything else is good to go.