One of my very favorite things that Ben does so well is something so simple, yet such a game changer for why I love our relationship so much: he makes me feel wanted.
I think it’s something that a lot of people who have been together for a long time tend to lose sight of, but it’s something so basic and necessary that it’s worth investing some thought into on a regular basis.
What I see and hear too often are people joking and/or complaining about their significant others: they’re getting nagged about not spending enough time with them, they’re not pulling their weight with household chores, they’re annoyed that their spouse wants to do “stuff” in bed, etc.
I see friends that go unnoticed by their spouse even after they’ve spent an hour getting dressed up for date night.
I have couple friends that barely make contact with each other when they’re in the same room together for hours. If you didn’t know them, you would barely even realize they were a couple.
I watch people make plans without considering how it will affect their partner and his or her schedule.
Our relationship has plenty of flaws and weaknesses that we are getting better at identifying and actually chipping away at, but knowing that Ben genuinely wants me around and is thinking about me during the day and is attracted to me…all of those things make me care about him and our relationship enough that I care enough to work harder at contributing to our relationship and our family’s quality of life together.
We all just want to feel loved. And, noticed. And, desired. And, wanted. And, like we matter, and our thoughts and feelings and opinions matter…not just out there in the world, but to the person who you’re sharing this world with.
Every now and then, right before he leaves early in the morning and I’m still in bed, he will just lay his head on my stomach and close his eyes.
He never ends a hug before me; he always waits until I’m ready to let go.
I know for a fact that he hates holding hands, but he still reaches for my hand at just the right moments.
Every time we get on a ski lift and right after the bar comes down, he pats my leg with his mittens, rubs my leg, and just looks at me through his goggles. Doesn’t say a word, just looks at me.
When I walk in the gym every day, I can see his eyes follow me around until I finally see his huge smile waiting for me to make eye contact with him.
He makes me never want to play games. He makes me want to tell him just how much I love him whenever I feel the urge to. Whenever I tell him how grateful I am to have ended up with him, he tells me how awesome it is that I feel like that. I don’t feel like I need to hold anything back because he never keeps me wondering how he feels about me and us.
I guess what I’m saying is this: I think it’s critically important to care for and love your significant other…and, never leave them wondering and trying to figure it out for themselves.