Yesterday’s post got me thinking about a topic very much related to gossip: how we perceive and talk about past relationships that didn’t “end well”, be it ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, jobs we’ve left or been asked to leave, or even friendships that ended in fallouts for whatever reason.
Most of us, myself included, have been involved in each of these and many other similar situations in our past. I’ve been dumped, gone through a divorce, been fired, and had one of my best friends just unexpectedly and without any explanation decide to stop being friends with me.
They have all been incredibly painful, disruptive to my overall personal life, and found me in a place where I was confused and feeling frustrated with how the other party was treating me.
Over the course of the last 44 years of my life, though, I’ve come to learn how much recovery and growth can come…and, how much faster it all happens…when I focus my energy on finding the ways that I was responsible for what happened.
I’ve found that when I can redirect myself out of the roundabout of blame and feeling like a victim to someone else’s unfair behavior, I have more energy and space in my heart to see what happened as an observer, free of the biased thinking that does nothing but align you in the universe to see reruns of the same devastating endings as in your past.
But, that is harder than it sounds. To turn the finger pointing away from the other party and back at yourself is something that doesn’t happen instinctively. So, when I find that my ego is still too strong to let that happen naturally, I repeat one of the mantras in my head that I have our entire family say every morning before they leave the house: SPEAK KIND WORDS.
If I at least speak kindly about these broken relationships, these people that have left me wounded and scarred, then I start forcing my ego to quiet so that my words can start to take shape in my heart and mind.
I, literally, talk myself into believing the words coming out of my mouth.
And, that is when the rebuilding…the growth…the higher ground…that is when all of that can finally start becoming a reality.