I’m so thrilled to share that I’m finally going to be back on the coaching staff at CrossFit New England starting in April. Yes, the Home Goods Marathon is over…and, I’m committing to using the tiny intellectual side of my brain again. It’s actually terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.
One of the perks of being back on staff is that I get to start attending the weekly Coaches Meetings when the entire staff comes together to fine tune their plan on how to make our members’ experience better. It’s truly one of the most impressive meetings I’ve ever been to: so much learning, so much support, so much celebration of individual efforts and accomplishments, and so much hunger to make what we offer our community even better than ever. Every. Single. Week.
For example, yesterday, Ben challenged a long standing quote that many of us have likely held up as one to live our lives by:
“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
At first, this seems like a nice, straight-forward approach, right?
When competing in the CrossFit Open, you feed off of coaches and friends telling you when to pick up the bar, pick up the med ball, or start your sprint on the rower.
When you have surgery, you really appreciate people dropping off get-well treats, texting you to see how you’re doing, and asking you how your recovery is going when you finally start getting back out into the world.
You really appreciate and think it’s funny when people are super honest and can talk about sometimes taboo subjects like farting, sex, and how awful you look that day.
And, you feel like it’s awkward and unfriendly to be in a car with someone or sit next to someone on an airplane and not make small talk to “fill the silence”.
In your own mind, these are all things that you like and ways that you like to be treated. But, you can also imagine that not everyone feels the same.
Some people may feel rushed and unsafe by being told when to push harder when working out. Some people may prefer suffering in private on their own and not talking about their surgery experience because it brings up bad memories that they’d rather just forget about and move on from. Taboo talk may make some people super uncomfortable and want to avoid you in situations when it may come up. And, some people actually find silence in the presence of others to be a sign that you’re genuinely comfortable with that person…or, they just really appreciate the time to disconnect and think to themselves.
No, you should not treat others the way you want to be treated.
You should treat others the way they want to be treated.
This method, of course, takes more time and energy…but, what doesn’t when it comes to building better relationships with people? Treating others the way you want to be treated is merely a short cut. In my opinion, it’s a selfish way of dealing with the world around you. It’s a lot easier to figure out what you like and getting to act that way all of the time, than figuring out what every individual person you deal with prefers and having to accommodate and adapt on a constant basis.
But, it’s that very effort, that selfless abandonment of your own preferences that allows other people to be more themselves in a world where that level of kindness and open-mindedness doesn’t often exist.