If you’ve ever wondered about the level of my intellect, this story will clear things up.
I’m driving around in the Boston area the other day with Ben and Maya and we’re listening to the country station called The Bull.
Great station. Very few commercials, always playing something great…but, they’re just cool. You know? They just sound cool. Not just the dj’s, but even the guy that jumps in between songs to say things like, “Horns up, Boston!” Right? Like, what a cool slogan?
Stuff like that fires me up. Like, I’m all in. Whatever you’re playing, whatever you’re talking about, whatever you’re doing…if you are that creative and sound that cool, I’m all about it.
So, we’re listening to that station…and, we’re driving around in Ben’s truck which also fires me up because it’s such a bad ass truck and he looks so hot in it and listening to country music in that thing makes you wanna’ buy a farm with land forever and have more kids and wear white pinlet dresses and grow your hair long and whispy and drink lemon water and grow your own vegetables and put a crown of daisies in your hair and grill corn and put your living room couch out in the grass with twinkle lights hung all over huge trunked trees that have wooden swings and tires hanging from their branches eat corn and sip coffee on a huge wrap around porch with your dream boy while your kids swim in the pond off yonder.
Right? That’s what listening to country music in Ben’s truck does for me.
Anyway, the guy on The Bull says something quickly like, “Hey, Boston! If you see us driving around, flip us THE BULL!”
This is where the level of intellect thing comes clear.
For some reason, I get it in my head that “flipping the bull” is the same as “flipping the bird”. Not like they mean similar things, but like I thought they wanted us to give them the middle finger if we pulled up next to them on the road.
So, now I’ve got my eyes peeled for a big black van that says “The Bull” on the side of it. Not because they said that’s what to look for, but, again, because that’s what their vehicle looks like on the planet that my brain exists on.
Finally, after about a good 5 minutes of me anxiously scanning the Boston highway scene for their van and obviously on guard and ready to “flip them the bird”, I start thinking about how weird it is that we’re supposed to flip the guys from this radio station off if we see them. And, like doing that will result in us winning free tickets to the next Sam Hunt or Eric Church concert that comes in town.
So, I start laughing to myself and must’ve said something like, “Guys, isn’t it so weird that we’re supposed to flip them off if we see their Bull van?” Still wide eyed like I’m looking for the Marshmallow Man to be walking around the streets of Boston or something.
Finally, Ben starts giving me that look. The look that says, “Babe, think about it.” Actually, he may have actually said, “Babe, think about it.” Like, the same look he gave me when I asked Katrin Davidsdottir’s father what his first name was. Kat actually gave me that look at the very same time, too, now that I think about it.
And, even more finally (whatever that means), Maya just starts slowly shaking her head and says under her breath, “You’re such an idiot.”
Ben’s now cracking up. I’m still lost in outer space ready to give total strangers the middle finger with an enormous smile on my face.
And, Ben’s still laughing more than I’m comfortable remembering and just goes, “That’s amazing. Talking about your mother.”