I almost can’t even believe I’m saying this because I am notoriously “that girl” that never shuts up, but it’s just nice when you can strike the perfect balance with someone of the perfect amount of talking.
It’s something I learned mostly from when I was on the Level 1 Seminar Staff: too much talking is often just too much.
I believe this, on so many levels now, that it’s hard for me to not notice it when it’s happening too much.
I remember when I was just starting to deliver lectures at Level 1’s and I was intimidated with being in front of a room full of people, nervous about missing any of the lecture material, and would try to make up for all of those things by just talking a lot, talking really fast, and making my best effort to fill any silences with humor and funny talk.
But, when I would watch and really study the good lecturers like Nicole Carroll, Lisa Ray, Big Todd, EC Synkowski, Pat Sherwood, Austin Malleolo, James Hobart, and Chuck Carswell, I started to realize that they were great at what they did because they did the opposite of what I was doing.
They spoke slowly and clearly. They paused a lot to let words and ideas sink in.
They said what they had to say in as few words as possible to keep their lectures simple and straightforward.
They told funny stories, but the stories were directly related to the point they were trying to get across. They were humorous, but not at the expense of stealing the thunder of the content they were trying to deliver. And, they never cursed.
While some of this doesn’t really apply to casual conversation with your buddies on a day to day basis, a lot of it actually does. Whether you’re hanging out with your best friends, your family, a group of acquaintances over a nice dinner, at a party with pseudo-strangers, or with a group of other parents at Open House night at your kids’ school, one thing is constant, in my opinion: too much is too much.
Every now and then, Ben and I talk about cool it is when you find someone who is fine with silence. I think it’s rare, but it’s such a relief when you can “hang out” with someone, but no one needs to talk…and, no one’s walking around worrying about whether the other person’s mad at them about something, or trying to figure out why the other person’s not laughing at their subtle wise cracks, jokes, or “funny” things they’re doing.
Maybe I’m just getting old and not as much fun as I used to be, but sometimes it’s exhausting to feel like you’ve got to keep up with all of it all of the time.
I guess, sometimes, I just like people that don’t like to talk all of the time.
Again, I can’t believe I just said that…but, it’s true.