I am ready to write again.
This whole pandemic…with the distancing, hibernating with your little squad, etc…has been very, verytransformative for me. I don’t think it’s just coincidence that over the last 6 months or so I have retreated both physically, and emotionally, from the people and places that I once relied so heavily on.
I think this whole thing has helped catapult me into a mental space that I would’ve taken 10 years to arrive at had I not been forced to put the brakes on, do some inward hunting and digging, and…more than anything…sit quietly with myself and THINK.
And, what I’ve found is this: I am the biggest, most important, project I will ever encounter. No landscaping, home renovation, or closet organization project will even come close to the magnitude of the development of ME.
Not even my relationship with my husband, children, parents, or my closest friends deserve the attention I possess more than my investment in who I am and who I am able to offer all of those people who are so important to me.
This time in the world has allowed me space to deconstruct it all and just begin to scratch the surface of all of my insecurities, behavior patterns, and perspectives that I have gathered and let calcify. Up until now.
There are so many thoughts, so many realizations, that have come to me over the last few months that are just begging for my attention. And, I think I am finally ready to refract my energy to them, and all of the ones that will grow from those.
Because that is truly what I want to do. Grow. And, what I have found is that the chatter, the speed, and the distractions all impede growth from happening. The difficulty lies in being aware of what those things are.
When am I engaging and allowing in the chatter and the speed and the distractions? They always say awareness is the first step, right?
So, that is where we shall start. That is where we will begin to reconstruct. Not in a new, separate place. But, rather layered on top of what got us here. The point is not to ignore and forget, but to unveil and evolve.
To grow.
2 Comments
it is soooooooooooooooooo good to see you back at the helm Heath. as you know, i check your blog every morning, and i get so disappointed when there’s no new entry.can’t wait for tomorrow! Love you, Dad
Dear Heather, I don’t know where to start. Maybe with saying that it’s good to see someone putting herself first too. I think this is what I did when I started crossfit 2 years ago. I started to get healthier for my kids. Because I’m a single mom and there’s no one else to care for them when something happens to me. But more than that, I do this for me. Because I’m passionate about it, because it feels good, because I love it. But becoming a better version of myself also made me a better mom and thus, putting me first, put our little family in a better place too.
I’m so thankful I found your blog. You and Ben are inspiring and you both help me getting a better human every day, little by little.