The Healthy Life

I’m Disgusting

posted by Heather May 3, 2017 0 comments

TODAY is a new, gloriously sunny day here in Natick, Massachusetts. I’m out of bed. I’m moving around independently. And, most importantly, I’m freshly showered.

In addition to being good break-up material, I am also a very good patient.

If you were to ask my chiropractor, surgeon, nutritionist or coach, I would like to think they would agree with me in saying that I’m incredibly obedient: I’m good at asking what the rules are, following directions, and doing exactly what I’m told…and, sometimes too much.

If I’m told to roll my IT band 3 times for :60 seconds each pass, I will do exactly that…if not for double the time.

If I’m told to eat more leafy greens, I will eat kale and spinach every single time something goes in my mouth.

And, if I’m told to elevate my leg and stay off my feet to help decrease swelling in an area that just went through surgery, I will lay there with my leg elevated for every second of the day except to go to the bathroom and to go get some leafy greens when no one is around to get them for me.

That is exactly what I’ve been doing for the last 48 hours…and, I’m telling you this: it was all fun an relaxing for about the first 3 hours of those 48 hours.

Then, it turned not fun and not relaxing…and, turned more lazy and boring.

Because you know what I realized about laziness?  Being lazy, makes you more lazy.

At one point, after I, literally, looked at the clock 4 times between 1:11pm and 1:24pm thinking at least an hour must’ve passed by, I texted EC complaining to her about how bored I was.  She told me it seemed like a “dreamy” opportunity to catch up on HGTV re-runs.  As usual, since I will forever refer to her as the smartest person I have ever known, she was right…even about watching television.

8 hours later, I was still laying there watching HGTV re-runs of what is now my favorite TV show with my now favorite reality TV ‘characters’: Fixer Upper.

8 hours.

You know how I was all “I’d be great break-up material” 24 hours ago?  Well, let’s just hope that, (a) Ben never “dumps” me, and (b) that if that ever were to happen, that I start dating someone again in less than 24 hours.  Because it turns out that’s my time limit of being “great break-up material”.

After that, I am too lazy to read a book.  I’m too lazy to wash my face at the end of the day.  And, I’m too lazy to eat my already reduced number of macros for the day.

Basically, all I’m good for at that point is checking and posting on Instagram.  Which is disgusting.

I’m disgusting.

So much for being great break-up material.  Turns out after 24 hours, I morph from that to being a “great patient”.

I’d rather get great at being dumped than get great at being a patient.

Ok, not really.  I take that back.

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