So, I’m hanging out with a friend yesterday. I ask her how her house-hunting/selling has been going. She tells me about how they were just about to close on a deal when something or other fell through and the deal didn’t seem as good to her as it originally did. Her husband, on the other hand, disagreed and wanted to just go for it.
So, she says, “I told him, fine. Go for it. But, I’m out.”
“Wait, what do you mean? How were you ‘out’?”
“I told him he could go ahead with it, but I’m not putting in my half.”
“What the hell are you talking about with ‘your half'”?
“Well, if he wanted to put his money in, fine. But, I wasn’t going in on it.”
“What do you mean? You were going to split the house?”
“Yeah, we split everything. He has his money, and I have mine. We have no idea how much each other has. He could, literally, have $100 in his account…or, $1,000,000.”
“Wait, so what happens when you go out for dinner? You split it? And, doesn’t that ever throw the wait staff off when you’re married with kids, but you’re splitting the bill???”
“Oh, no no. He’ll pay for it, but then he’ll send me an email the next morning telling me how much money to transfer into his account. If I go grocery shopping, I send him his half and he transfers it into my account. If I go to Target and get clothes for the kids, stuff for the house, and stuff for myself, I send him what his portion of the bill should be…and, it gets transferred over.”
“WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?! EVERYTHING!?!”
“Well, that’s my personal nightmare. I would be a freaking HOMELESS person if we lived like that.”
And, the idiot that I am goes running home to tell Ben and his Dad about this set-up. They’re like, “WHAT? THAT’S A THING?”
And, Ben starts cracking up and just goes, “Sign me up for that system!”
Yeah, babe. I don’t think so.