I’m no expert on relationships, but I’m old enough to have a well-seasoned collection of my own observations. Observations of my own relationships, as well as those of others. And, one of the things I’ve seen act as a real test for people is this: open-heartedness.
Can the two people approach life with the other person open to change and adaptation, or are they guarding themselves in an effort to protect against potential harm or hurt?
Most of us have hurt at some point, whether it was simply a relationship from high school or college…or, something more complicated in a previous marriage with children and shared bank accounts.
Like everything else in life, we are a product of how we walk away from those past experiences: do we use them to learn and grow from, or do they subconsciously layer over us like a foggy film that keeps us from ever trusting in the idea of a healthy love ever again?
Yes, romantic trauma is just that. It is traumatizing…when you’re in the thick of it. But, when the fog clears, it can actually be the one thing that gives us hope. Hope that we have identified what we want and what we really don’t want out of a relationship.
Because it’s not about finding that single other human being out there in the world that perfectly fits the mold of who you want to end up with. It’s about finding the person that you are open to idea of revealing who you really are with, the person who you want to be, and who you are willing to take a chance at changing over time with.
Change is inevitable. It’s up to us whether we think of it as beautifully inevitable, or terrifyingly inevitable. You fill in the blank 😉