I am 100% one of those people that like tallying things. For sure. There’s nothing quite like chalking up those little hash marks when you’ve finished a round in a workout…or, wiping them off when you’ve finished a set of back squats. LOVE. IT.
But, one thing I do not like tallying are things in a relationship. Especially, when it comes to a spouse or the equivalent of that.
The only reason I bring it up like that is because I have 100% been guilty of doing it. And, for a longer time than I’m comfortable admitting.
It just never ends up anywhere good.
When you’re doing it, you’re getting yourself deeper and deeper into a feeling of resentment for whatever the other person is doing. It’s assuming that the other person was ill-willed in some way. And, it just drives you and that other person…usually someone close to you in some way…further and further apart. When it all comes to a head, even if things “balance out”, no one actually feels like they “won” anyway.
Over the years, it’s something that Ben…by way of leading by example…has taught me to become very good at. Consequently, we never feel like we “owe” each other anything, and we never resent each other for doing something…or, not doing something…differently than we had wanted.
We just assume that the other person was doing it with good intentions and we move forward.
Everyone wins that way.