I can never wrap my brain around the best plan of attack of eating when it comes to special events (holiday parties, weddings, etc.).
There are so many options and, somehow, no matter which one you go with you end up tanking:
- You starve yourself all day. You’re going to your buddy’s wedding, and all they’ve done since they booked the venue is talk about how insane the food’s going to be. You know yourself…and, more importantly, you know yourself at weddings. Scary stuff right there. So, you make it easy and straightforward: you’re saving up your entire days worth of calories so you can feel free to cash in on it at the wedding. The problem: you’re so irrationally hungry that you just completely bomb out and end up eating and drinking anything and everything in sight…like, it gets embarrassing.
- You eat a full, normal meal right before you leave for the event. You’re trying to do the mature, proactive thing here. You don’t want to go on an empty stomach because you know how that ends up, so you try to protect yourself by going in not hungry at all. The problem: you walk into a room full of every single one of your favorite appetizers, you have as little as one drink and now all rational decision-making has vanished from your vulnerable brain, and…the real kicker…your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is there…like, the supermodel one that broke up with him only because she was leaving to study something really smart in Italy and not because they got into some huge fight over living together…and, she’s talking to your boyfriend…like, in that way that is just yelping, “DANGERRRR!!!!” So, you deal by mindlessly popping app’s like it’s your job while staying laser focused on them to monitor whether she so much as touches any part of his body. Even an elbow could cause you to fake a choking attack.
- You decide to just drink, and not eat. Makes total sense. You crunch the numbers and decide you can’t do both, and it comes down to the fact that you get to eat food every day…but, you don’t get to drink with your buddies who are only home in town this one day of the entire year. So, you’re going to get after it with them just like the good ole’ days. The problem: that party ended the day you all became responsible adults and got jobs, got married, had kids, started paying a mortgage, stopped being 22 years old, started counting your macros, started exercising at high intensity on a regular basis, stopped binge drinking at 9am on a Saturday, and started realizing that the human body needs more than empty alcohol calories to function normally. And, every single one of us knows that after a few hours of just drinking, that the “not eating” part of that statement turns into “eating anything without limitation” because, again, your rational decision-making side of your brain has shut down for the night.
Unfortunately, this is not a post that will guide you in any good direction. I have no answers or solutions for the age-old dilemma of how to survive the holidays (or, any other “special event”).
The only thing I will forever try to remember is this: the more damage you do, the more you pay for it the next day, next few days, and even the next entire week.