We all know it. But, man, is it hard to remember sometimes that there are always 3 sides to every story.
I try to always remember that whenever anyone is telling me a story: my kids, my husband, a friend, and everyone beyond and between.
When Maya’s lacrosse team is dealing with some sort of drama that I hear about from my own daughter (whom I want to immediately assume is perfect and could never wrong another human being), I have to remember that there is likely another girl calling her own mother telling her a different story from her own perspective.
Yet, in the space between those two people’s stories, lies what actually happened.
I think the even harder time to remember that is when YOU are one of the “sides”.
When I am frustrated with a friend for not being there for me in some way, I need to remember that they have their own story playing in their head about what happened. But, I also need to remember that we are BOTH biased. We BOTH are choosing to remember only parts of what the real story is. And, we BOTH are subconsciously choosing to forget or overlook certain other details.
The next hardest part of this whole process is this: admitting that you forgot to consider what those other two sides of the story may have actually been. And, having the genuine curiosity to find out what those stories are.
Because that’s when a connection and a leveling of egos can finally take place. And, that is the time and place when a relationship can end up stronger than it was before the disagreement.