One of the nicest, happiest drop-in visitors at CFNE, Carlos, came up to me yesterday and asked me if I would share with him 5 things that I love most about Ben. When I asked him why, he told me he wanted to know how to have a relationship with his wife that would make her want to write about him the way I write about Ben.
I almost cried as it was maybe the most special, meaningful request I have ever received. I, then, thanked him for giving me the inspiration for my next blog post.
- I have never met a more trustworthy human being in my entire life. I trust that he prioritizes me and our family above everything else. I trust that he always does what he believes is the right thing to do at the moment, regardless of how hard the decision may be or how things end up. I can trust that he never has a hidden agenda or is trying to play games with me to get what he wants. I can trust that he never speaks badly about me or complains about me behind my back. And, most importantly, no matter how hard life is hitting me or how badly I screw something up, I can trust that he will be there at the end of the day to tell me how much he loves me and how we will be together forever.
- He genuinely cares about people. You will never catch him gossiping about someone. As long as someone is working hard or following what they believe is their purpose, you will never hear him judging them about what they’re choosing to do with their time or what their perspective on life is. He puts an enormous amount of time into figuring out a plan to have the greatest, most positive impact on the people that are in need of help.
- He is incredibly focused, motivated, and disciplined. He spends an enormous amount of time thinking about what his priorities should be, what his goals are, what his specific plans are to reach those goals, constantly revisiting all of it and changing to make his plans better as life goes on, and finding ways to keep himself accountable to all of it. And, it’s not just a business thing; he does this with me, each one of our kids, his parents, his businesses, his friends, and his own personal dreams.
- He is more patient than anyone I know. He doesn’t even speed while driving. And, it’s not just the sort of patience that let’s me take my time getting ready to go out on a date with him. It’s an all the time patience that allows you to take time making well thought out decisions, not reacting impulsively to things that would enrage most other people, and allowing life to move slowly around you so you can appreciate the small things that too often go unnoticed.
- He is a better father than I ever dreamt he would be, and he gets even better as the kids get older. I have never seen a parent so committed to taking the tireless amounts of time it requires to teach young children lessons on not complaining, working hard, being humble, being kind, being grateful, doing the right thing, and being a generally good person. When I tap out and am too tired to find yet another angle to teach the same lesson, he never hesitates to disappear with the kid and spend 20 minutes quietly and rationally talking to them on their level so they don’t feel like they’re just “getting in trouble”. And, the way he’s stepped up and taken on Maya and Jonah never ceases to amaze me. I am beyond grateful to have not one, but two, of the most devoted fathers loving those two kids. They are, somehow, making out better from a “broken home” than they would if it wasn’t broken at all.