Ok, that’s enough.
I am going to out myself right here and now because it may be the only way to reel my nutrition back in from the little party bus I’ve been allowing myself to ride for the last God only knows how long.
It all came to a head just now when my poor nanny and I were talking and she says, “After I saw you eating chips and salsa when you got home from the gym yesterday, it made me want to go and get some for myself. So, I did. And, I got pickles. And, ice cream.”
I “inspired” the poor thing to eat foods as if we were 12 years old all over again. You know, the good old days when we didn’t know and, frankly, didn’t care what was good and what was bad. We just ate whatever was there, whenever we got hungry, and never felt bad about any of it.
They were the “good old days” because there was such little pressure and no mental wars that you constantly battled in your head about hitting macros, deciphering between the different kinds of fats and amino acids, and what amount of protein I should be balancing with my apple to balance out my snack.
But, the good old days didn’t get you PR’s on all of your lifts, healthy body fat percentages, or help your joints move like well WD-40’d door hinges. And, let’s be honest, at this stage in the game, those are all things that are highly important to our quality of life.
So, I’m backing off on the following items that have quietly been snuck into my daily regimen: KIND Healthy Grains Granola (big thank you to Maya for bringing that junk in the house), tortilla chips (this one hurts my heart to include on this list), wine (I’m going back to wine-only-the-night-before-a-rest-day…or “major” special occasions), cheese (I pretend that it’s healthy because I feel like it’s so sophisticated and artsy), shots of hazelnut from Starbuck’s (but, NOT my hazelnut almond milk creamer that I put in my coffee in the morning…I’m just not), and s’mores (I have no good explanation for how I rationalize this one other than we camped out one night last weekend and it seemed “fitting”…but, the tents have been away for over a week…as should have the s’mores ingredients).
P.S. This is just funny. The coaching staff periodically sends emails to members that haven’t been in class for a while to check in and see if everything’s ok. This was my email to my buddy, Mark, who has been MIA for the last week-ish:
“Where the HELL have you been, son? Do not MAKE me march myself over to your office and publicly humiliate you. And, don’t test me. You will be painfully sorry you haven’t been in class regularly.