The Good Life

“Vulnerability” On Ben’s Chasing Excellence Podcast

posted by Heather February 6, 2019 0 comments
Bode’s a little artist 🙂
Our first ride in MONTHS.
Her FIRST DAY OF GYMNASTICS!!!
I LOVE cleaning out our garage.
Progress: the moped got moved to it’s home for the next few months.

Ben and Patrick recently invited me onto their podcast, Chasing Excellence, to talk about the idea of vulnerability.

As with most things, my opinion on this is something that I think a lot of people share: the more someone acts like they have it all together, the less I trust them. Consequently, the more someone puts it out there that they have no idea what they’re doing, admit that they are a hot mess, and/or are willing to accept any and all advice on how to do things better, the more I trust them.

It’s a weird evolution of knowledge.

Yes, as you get older, you get wiser. You have more experiences and time to have processed them. You are more willing to acknowledge and actually accept who you really are…not the person you want to be, or think you should be. And, you start realizing that we’re all just dealing with and going through pretty similar things.

It truly is a case of what goes around is likely to come back around to you eventually. It’s just a matter of time, and in what shape or form will you see it in.

None of us are immune to anything, regardless of your income, your relationship status, or your 1RM deadlift.

Vulnerability, in my opinion, has everything to do with honesty: honesty with yourself, and honesty with others. There’s a direct relationship between how consistently honest you are with yourself and others, and the level of trust you’re able to establish with your universe. The more honest you are across the board, the more people can put trust in you, and, ultimately, the stronger your relationships have the potential of being.

Sounds easy, right? Just tell the truth. I mean, how many of us are walking around telling lies all day?

But, how many of us are actually walking around sharing the real, raw truth with people?

We post pictures of ourselves looking amazing, but do we ever let the unflattering ones out of our own photo albums?

We are happy to highlight our kids’ accomplishments, but do we avoid sharing the fact that they keep getting caught drinking and sneaking out?

We can get very good at pretending like everything’s perfect at home with our spouse, but do we ever admit that you’re actually starting to become lonely and resentful…because thing’s are actually far from perfect?

And, we’re great at wearing happy masks at family gatherings…even though half of our relatives are feeding their alcohol dependency in an effort to “survive” the event…and, we choose to never confront them on it since we won’t have to deal with it again until the next holiday.

Being consistently “vulnerable” with people involves a lot more than not lying. It’s more than just admitting to your buddies that you’re intimidated by barbells or telling your girlfriend that you’re having a fat day.

It’s about digging up the stuff in your brain that you would rather pretend wasn’t there, pulling the curtain back, and revealing to people what you’re really going through.

Because that’s about the time when walls come down and people start developing relationships based on trust, and not ideals of the people we all think we should be.

Ben and Patrick recently invited me onto their podcast, Chasing Excellence, to talk about the idea of vulnerability.

As with most things, my opinion on this is something that I think a lot of people share: the more someone acts like they have it all together, the less I trust them. Consequently, the more someone puts it out there that they have no idea what they’re doing, admit that they are a hot mess, and/or are willing to accept any and all advice on how to do things better, the more I trust them. Consequently, the more someone puts it out there that they have no idea what they’re doing, admit that they are a hot mess, and/or are willing to accept any and all advice on how to do things better, the more I trust them.

It’s a weird evolution of knowledge.

Yes, as you get older, you get wiser. You have more experiences and time to have processed them. You are more willing to acknowledge and actually accept who you really are…not the person you want to be, or think you should be. And, you start realizing that we’re all just dealing with and going through pretty similar things.

It truly is a case of what goes around is likely to come back around to you eventually. It’s just a matter of time, and in what shape or form will you see it in.

None of us are immune to anything, regardless of your income, your relationship status, or your 1RM deadlift.

Vulnerability, in my opinion, has everything to do with honesty: honesty with yourself, and honesty with others. There’s a direct relationship between how consistently honest you are with yourself and others, and the level of trust you’re able to establish with your universe. The more honest you are across the board, the more people can put trust in you, and, ultimately, the stronger your relationships have the potential of being.

Sounds easy, right? Just tell the truth. I mean, how many of us are walking around telling lies all day?

But, how many of us are actually walking around sharing the real, raw truth with people?

We post pictures of ourselves looking amazing, but do we ever let the unflattering ones out of our own photo albums?

We are happy to highlight our kids’ accomplishments, but do we avoid sharing the fact that they keep getting caught drinking and sneaking out?

We can get very good at pretending like everything’s perfect at home with our spouse, but do we ever admit that you’re actually starting to become lonely and resentful…because thing’s are actually far from perfect?

And, we’re great at wearing happy masks at family gatherings…even though half of our relatives are feeding their alcohol dependency in an effort to “survive” the event…and, we choose to never confront them on it since we won’t have to deal with it again until the next holiday.

Being consistently “vulnerable” with people involves a lot more than not lying. It’s more than just admitting to your buddies that you’re intimidated by barbells or telling your girlfriend that you’re having a fat day.

It’s about digging up the stuff in your brain that you would rather pretend wasn’t there, pulling the curtain back, and revealing to people what you’re really going through.

Because that’s about the time when walls come down and people start developing relationships based on trust, and not ideals of the people we all think we should be.

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