While I was eating lunch today and Bode was building with his Legos next to me, I asked him, “Hey, what’d you do at the farm today? Did you guys go on your morning hike? What do you do on your hike every day? Do you talk to Cody or do you just walk?”
I know, so many questions for a 5 year old boy who’s elbow deep in a Lego project.
“Umm…I don’t remember.”
I didn’t press him on it. I figured, knowing how this drill goes after raising Jonah for 13 years, that he probably actually didn’t remember whether he went on a hike this morning, let alone what he would’ve done on the hike if he did, in fact, go on one.
About 30 seconds later, Bode says, “Sometimes it’s good to not remember, right?”
I paused for a couple of seconds, and finally answered, “Yes, Bode. You’re absolutely right. Sometimes it’s very, very good to not remember.”
It’s funny how much like Ben he can be.
One of the many things that I carry around with me in the back of my head all day, every day, is something Ben preaches to all of us about on the regular:
When you feel yourself getting upset or frustrated with someone about something, ask yourself, “Is this going to even matter in 5 to 10 years? Will I even be able to remember what I was upset about in 5 to 10 years?”
He says that if the answer is no, or even an I’m not sure, then it’s not worth wasting your time and energy on today.
Or, said in the words of a pretty smart 5 year old boy, it’s good to not remember.
Think about how many times we’ve gotten upset with our significant other for the way they worded something or how they forgot to do something you were expecting them to do. Think about how many times we’ve gotten frustrated with a friend for making a choice that you weren’t happy about. And, think about how many times we’ve gotten aggravated with our kids for not eating the muffins you made them for breakfast or spilling their drink in your back seat on the way to school.
Yes, some of those things are legitimate situations that warrant frustration and deserve attention, but I would argue that most of them are things that you really wouldn’t be able to remember a year later, much less 5 or 10 years.
So, will it matter?